My Heart, Body and Soul…

when life gives u 100 reasons to cry, u shud always give life 1000 reasons to smile…right, true indeed.

if a glass was shattered, there’s no point mending, all the parts n pieces could nvr be stick bak together, same as the sack filled wit memories of the past shall be left behind..coz as time elapse, u’ll soon realize that the burden is getting heavier day by day…n by the time u wanna let it go, it had already drained out d soul in you.

there’s a sunshine after every storm…i wish i’ll get 2 see n savour it, as long as i’m able hang on in the strom. along wit the people ard me, sheltering me through…sunshine would b juz ard the corner. by then, i shall juz look bak n say, it was no big deal afterall.

it had been almost a year since sitting for finals last year, n all the hecticness r now returning…at the meantime marking dat the journey of my higher dip is coming to an end soon. yeah, it all came bak…i shall work hard for my finals, n waiting for a series of events coming into my life - graduation day, christmas, new year, chinese new year…lolz…once again, the list goes on.

walking through this path is necessary n worthwhile, coz at least i knew, the road ahead wud b waiting for me to reciprocate wit a bright smile. n this end of a chapter, shall b the beginning of another new chapter…

- =) -

do i have anything to lose? i think so, nope. i have nothing to lose.

i have so much words to say…but still, i have nothing to lose.

as time stops, you realize your heart stops beating…and everything in the past became nothing but dusts. once the world to u, ended up meaningless.

waved goodbye to my term 5 yesterday. still trying to recapture and flashback the events throughout this 3 months…and yes, most of the moments were juz like parts and pieces of dreams to me. i can’t really savour and feel it entirely…am i juz living in a virtual world all this while?

from the first week when my term begun, time passed by without even me noticing. am i having 24 hrs a day, or only 4 hrs a day? nvr had time for myself, sometimes can’t even catch my breathe….i missed those days so dearly, those days where i stayed up all night juz to watch a football match. it was unusual for a girl, i noe…bt dat was when i was most carefree, i have no worries at all. juz me alone, sitting quietly at night on the couch. no worries, no troubles, nothing to ponder. so peaceful…

life’s like a dream. n we’re juz one of the character in the dream…sometimes we might juz ended up having nothing. a lot of things happened within this period, but nothing seemed to be solid to me…why? they looked so fragile, as though if i woke up the other day, everythg would juz ‘puff’…gone in a flick. i wondered, was what happened yesterday juz my imaginations ? nope… it was so realistic. bt why can’t i hold it? why can’t i grab it n put it close to me?

take a short rest for the moment. maybe those were indeed juz a dream afterall…maybe.

- take it or leave it -

If i should die before i wake, it’s cause you took my breathe away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete
Wish that was a way that i can make you understand

But how do you expect me, to live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you, it’s so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how am i supposed to breathe with no air
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
It’s how i feel whenever you ain’t there
It’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
It’s how i feel whenever you ain’t there
It’s no air, no air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There’s no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I’m still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don’t know how, but I don’t even care

Tell me how am i supposed to breathe with no air
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
It’s how i feel whenever you ain’t there
It’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
It’s how i feel whenever you ain’t there

It’s no air, no air

[ from me to you ]

from "No Air" Jordin Sparks, Chris Brown 

And i hate how much i love you boy

i can’t stand how much i need you.

i can’t stand how much i love you boy,

but i just can’t let you go,

and i hate that i love you so.

- extracted frm ‘Hate That I love You’, Rihanna ft. Neyo

lyrics - combination of words…they are able to speak a lot huh ? i wonder how can they reflect my inner thoughts so well…

But there is one thing i noe, n i’m sure…the love for you has definately overwhelmed the hatred, by a hundred thousand times more. H-a-t-e…i guess it never exist.

- hunger for motivation..haih, yen ning ^__^

幸福是什么？ 幸福是拥有…拥有一切你想要的。

快乐是什么?  快乐是被溺爱时，写在脸上的幸福。

喜欢是什么？喜欢是陷进去的那一刹那，之后才发现如此难以自拔。

爱是什么？爱是幸福，快乐和喜欢的混合体。它是一个信念, 一种执着，一份勇气。

来来回回，兜兜转转…..我究竟是往前走，还是在原地踏步？

一个永远找不到答案的问题…

night time and silence had never been so lonely,

when i couldn’t sleep, with your images lingering in my mind.

night time and silence had never been so fearsome,

when i couldn’t sleep, and feeling that i’m losing everything.

night time and silence had never been so tormenting,

when i couldn’t sleep, holding back my tears,wondering.

night time and silence had never been so long,

when i couldn’t sleep, counting down for the sun to rise.

i tried to make my day hectic and tiring,

so night time would be peaceful and sound.

shutting up my eyes, carrying a hope….

to have a rendezvous with you in my dreams.

- just fated and never meant to be - yen ning

2nd of July…what a day 2 start a brand new term. Without even noticing, it had been already 3 mths since i last glanced thru my notes…when was the last time anyway? After all the ups and downs, sweat and laughters at 3rd Flr…and 1 mth of laid back and relax - finally, it has all came to an end.

yen ning ar yen ning…you gotta move forward and get urself motivated!! it’s term 5, yeah…which means 2 more terms left and yoohoo ~ graduation. stay tough, stay calm…fight wutever that comes into ur path. [ well...i noe, i noe...i'll strike a balance, ok ^.^]

July - the 7th month. i’m already half way thru this year.hope dat december will approach faster so that i can sit for d Finals soon…(erm, but i’ll have 2 brush up on my skills 1st of course) and yup, graduation day! then i’ll be waiting 4 christmas - new year - chinese new year…and the list goes on…..haha. thinking of these days makes me happy. well at least i know, there are still sumthg great in front awaits me with a wide smile =)

faith, hope & believe, yen ning ^.^

plz tell me how can i be happier??? wonder since when i became so depressed… even when i’m listening 2 my mp3, i opt for sad, slow songs…sob sob sob =(

it’s not hard 2 show an unhappy face when u’re really feeling bad ; it’s even easier 2 stick a smile on ur face when u’re happy. but the worst one is 2 fake up a happy face in front of the others when ur heart is actually crying deep inside….gosh, it’s torturing! but i’ve seriously no choice…not at all…

pathway to happiness, plz…

yen ning ^__^

I think i’ll just have to remain silent, don’t speak even a word…then life would be better i guess…

wonder what happened, words i spoke these days seem to frequently provoked dad’s anger…haiz… i was just trying to say what i wanna say.things which are playing in my thoughts… but den he’ll take that as disrespectful or whatever…my gosh! so the wise move now is just SHUT UP and accept his words…

juz worked in a bmw mini cooper event yesterday…it’s was way too cool (i meant d cars, not d job obviously..) i’ve never seen so many mini coopers in my entire life! so petite, so adorable…although it’s not reli my kind of dream car, like porsche or volkswagen, but they are enough to make my mouth agape XD i think i’ll faint on d spot if it’s a porsche event…haha

- j’adore porsche!!, yen ning ^.^